Thursday, September 29, 2005
词曲:罗大佑
仿佛如同一场梦
我们如此短暂地相逢
你像一缕春风轻轻柔柔吹入我心中
而今何处是你往日的笑容
记忆中那样熟悉的笑容
你可 知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天
从来未曾拥有你
纵然喜怒哀伤和欢娱
从来未曾属于真情的是空欢的无语
而今当你说你将会离去
忽然间我开始失去我自己
你可知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天
你可知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天
......
啦.....啦.....啦.....啦.....
很想以华文表达我现在的心情 可是我不能。老了，生锈了。力不从心了。打字已经没有以前那样的快了而我的华文也没有以前的好。
So here it goes. For no apparent reason, i've been listening to this song very frequently recently. Dunno if it's cos of the nice melody or is it cos of the lyrics. Maybe it's also cos it reminds me of those days where i can listen to a song like that and sit and cry for hours non stop. Yeah, for those of you who dunno, i sat down, supposedly studying in the middle of the night but ended up crying like some mad woman. That was how silly i was. I shed tears for a guy who was absolutely not worth it and i knew that too.
But then, in those days, i felt alive. I felt that i was yes, you got it correct the first time, ALIVE! I know it may sound saddistic. I had to feel hurt and pain to feel alive. Recently, no matter how tired i am, no matter how sad i may be, and no matter how pms-ish i feel, i still don't cry. It's almost as if my tears are all gone. all wasted on him? Maybe. Maybe not.
Yishan used to be such a silly girl. Hahaaha... she would cry when her last performance in choir was ruin, when the choir didn't get a gold, when her juniors drove her mad and when the politics in choir were over whelming. She also cried herself silly when she watched those japanese and korean dramas which had to star a female lead who was going to die of cancer or something similiar and when her mum made her stop watching all those stupid vcds and go study. She would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and sit at the sofa in the living room and cry cos she was so worried she would be rock bottom in st nicks. She would cry just so that she can go to sleep without having to think too much. She was also the silly girl who sat in front of her primary school principal and cried cos she didn't wanna go st nicks with her miserable psle score of 256.
Now, she cries less. She cries only when there are some really major major issues that she cannot handle anymore. She cries about grandma's death which was about a year ago but that's all. Sometimes, she wonders why. Like now. I guess it's cos she has grown up. She kinda find it silly to cry over a female lead who has died in 3 other dramas already. But on the other hand, she wishes to do that once again. At least those tears were shed cos she had feelings. Now, she don't feel anything anymore. When someone she used to like turned out to be an absolute jerk, he also took all hopes away. She no longer hopes for much. If she doesn't get the love she wants? Oh well, she gets a little whiny for a while but later gets back to life like nothing's wrong. She knows that she cannot be disappointed anymore. Simply because she cannot hope for too much. She is afterall a girl who has been dumped by a jerk ultimately.
(i have absolutely no clue why i wrote this calling myself "her" and "yishan". I guess it made it easier to write about my lifestory and sad stuff without being too involved... Self protection? Maybe, maybe not.)
YYY
